It's been a few days and I know what you were thinking, it's because I was high and tweaking. NOPE... actually I'm more prone to write when I'm high as opposed to when I'm not. I love playing on my computer when I'm high and when I'm not high, I barely go near it unless it's to watch a movie or tv show on it.
I just haven't been feeling 100% lately. At first I thought the dope we got was cut with something cuz my body just feels achy (especially though out my joints-ankles, knees, shoulders, elbows, wrists and down my spine), and that's usually what happened when I get dope that has cut in it but usually it's when i'm kinda coming down. I started feeling horrible within 30 min. of smoking it. I hate people that cut dope... it's pure greediness so they can stretch it further and make more money. I would much rather get uncut dope and have it weigh a little bit less than get dope that has cut in it and depending on what is used to cut it... deal with the negative effects the cut may have. That's one good aspect of slamming dope... with the cotton when you draw up the dope in your syringe the cotton filters out a lot if not all of the cut..but if you are a slammer and some of the cut gets through the filter and you are going to have a negative reaction to the cut it's way worse if you inject it then if you smoke, snort or eat it.
Right now though, I'm not to sure my aches is from cut dope because I have what appears to be a spider bite on my breast and throughout last night and today the redness and swelling has gone from being the side of a dime to being the size of a grapefruit. I swear the red swelling is now over 1/3 (if not more) of my boob. I was looking online and it could be an abscess, spider bite, OR.... Inflamed breast cancer??? Have you ever heard of that? I was shocked after I read about it and doctors often miss diagnosing it because it presents as a spider bite, it comes on fast and spreads extremely quickly. They also said it's difficult to detect through a mammogram because it doesn't present as a lump or mass but the cancer cells are more like a sheet of cells. That is so freaking scary! As if women don't have enough to worry about with breast cancer (it seems like it's gotten more and more common over the years) but this inflamed breast cancer just seems wicked and harder to detect. I'm sure that's not what I am dealing with (although I do have a family history of cancer and breast cancer at that) but if it doesn't start looking better by Mon. I am going to see a doctor... and if it gets any worse before Monday then I am heading to the E.R. It just hurts so freaking bad, and it doesn't help at all that I am very large in the breast department and with the pain I can't imagine putting a bra on (OUCH) but not wearing a bra hurts also because they are unsupported, which means they move around more which makes the sensitive area move around more causing more pain. UGH!
For any of you reading this and assuming that this is an abscess and it's from using Meth.... well, that typically only happens to people that inject it and it's from some of the drug going outside the vein or by missing the vein completely. I don't inject it.. I have in the past but that was over 9 yrs. ago. AND... I'm not one of those tweakers that has all the scabs and holes all over my body. That's just gross, not ALL tweakers do that and it's irritating that majority of the portrayal of meth use that's almost ALWAYS the way it's portrayed. You would actually be surprised at the number of people that use meth on a regular basis and you would never be able to tell. Like me and my bf.... we still eat everyday, we still sleep every night, and we aren't sucked up at all, we don't have sores on our faces/bodies etc.... It's a common misconception and it does irritate me but on the other hand it makes it easier for me and my bf to go undetected as meth addicts because we don't fall into the stereotype meth addict. Oh yeah... we both have all of our own teeth and none of them are black and rotten. I actually had a cop ask me how long I had been using and at that time it was around 5 or so years and he looked at me shocked and said "Wow, and you still have all your own teeth and they are in good condition" and here it is 9 years after that and I still have all my own teeth and they are still in good condition. (KNOCK ON WOOD)
I'll keep you posted on this growth on my chest if it gets any worse I'm gonna suck it up and see a doctor.
TOODLES
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