Getting settled in...

Hello to anyone stumbling across my blog... come on in, kick your shoes off and make yourself comfortable. As I am sure most of you can tell from the name of my blog "Tweaker Ramblings" I am a drug addict and my  drug of choice is Methamphetamine or METH for short. I have been using off and on (mostly on) for roughly 14 years.  When I use, it's not just for recreation/social oh no... I use and head straight into full blown addiction using just about every day (if possible). I have stopped using on 3 separate occasions for short periods of time. I think the longest amount of time in the 14 years that I was sober was about a year and a half. 
Wanna hear the crazy part of the times I've gone sober? All three times, I sobered up on my own without being thrown into a treatment facility or jail (well, of course when I went to jail but that was for no longer than 5 days and as soon as I got out I was getting high again). I have gone to treatment but I was sober on my own for 3 months prior to being admitted into rehab. Let me tell you the rehab experience for me personally was a HUGE joke. The 3 months prior to being admitted I was sober on my own then I enter into inpatient treatment for 30 days and in that 30 days I got high and when I graduated from treatment I was given a little graduation present which consisted of an 8 ball of meth (an 8 ball is 3.5 grams and worth a few hundred dollars). Following the inpatient treatment I then went to outpatient treatment 2 days per week plus the required amount of meetings (I think 4 a month) and on several occasions I showed up to meetings high or to outpatient group sessions high and not one person ever suspected (if they did they didn't ever say anything) and not once through out the entire 7 months was I ever drug tested. Tell me that system isn't FLAWED. 
So a little bit of background on me... at 15 I started drinking and smoking cigarettes and weed. I moved out on my own right after turning 16 and I continued to smoke cigs/weed and drink alcohol. I got married at 17 and stopped smoking weed, drank on occasion but continued to smoke cigarettes. Oh yeah and I tried acid one time when I was 16. For the most part I stayed sober (drinking occasionally) until I reached the age of 28 and I initially started smoking weed again and shortly after that I was introduced to Meth. I am sure you have all heard the story... it made me feel energized, strong, on top of the freakin' world. The very first time I did it it was given to me in a capsule with a glass of water. It took about 30 min. or so before I started feeling the effects of it and yeah... I loved it! I didn't dive right into full blown addiction.... It was more of a "party" thing at first and gradually it became something that my body needed to function.  One of the things that REALLY sucks when you become a daily user is you no longer get drugs to get high... nope once you reach a certain point in your addiction (at least for me anyway) I no longer "get high" but instead I get drugs to "become normal". After awhile my body needs the drugs to get out of bed and function and my use of them is just to pull myself up to be the way most people are without drugs. I'm not going to lie there are a few occasions that I come across some exceptional batch (that's a term I use for meth, I call it either batch or shit) and I get spun but that's very rare and the good shit comes along every now and again but when it's no longer around it makes it that much harder to even get to the "normal" because my body got used to good shit... OR.... there have been times when I've had extra money so I was able to purchase more than normal so I got to use more allowing me to actually "feel" something resembling being high but those occasions are few and far between.In the 14 years (off and on) I have been using I have experienced every aspect of Meth. I have used it just about every way you can.... eating, snorting, and slammed it. I have purchased it from dealers, I have been a dealer, and I have even cooked it. I have made money from it, lost money because of it, and I have lost EVERYTHING not once but TWICE because of it. I have also been arrested twice because of it but because of luck? a guardian angel? Poor police work/procedures? The one thing that I haven't experienced (knock on wood) and I hope I never do experience is being convicted of a drug crime because of it. 
If nothing else, my years of usages has at least provided me with a little bit of knowledge and currently I do use almost everyday but my risks are bare minimum. My dealer is within walking distance, no traffic, no drama and I'm not partying... I basically use it to get out of bed and not experience the body aches and pains, the excessive exhaustion and the extreme bitchiness/emotional breakdown that I go through when I don't have it.If there anyone out there reading this that was once addicted to Meth for a long period of time and went sober and has been able to remain sober for a long period of time? If so.... do you still ever get cravings? Do they ever totally haunt you? 
Well.... this is a long enough rambling for my first blog post. Hopefully anyone that actually read this didn't fall asleep half way through.Till next time.... 
TOODLES